What I Didn’t Do

In a previous post, I shocked myself by creating a sample outline of my day. It was, if not cathartic, at least highly revelational for me.

(To summarize, the anonymous ADD-er in the above scenario has neglected to: Spend adequate time on their intended project, find the information they started looking up online, eat lunch, make coffee, do their laundry, organize their tools, call that person. Wow, as I write this, I am quite honestly astonished.  The amount of unresolved things in my life — I mean, in the life of a typical ADD-diagnosed individual — is even worse than I thought. Fodder for a whole blog post.)

And here is that blog post, as promised.

When I first started taking ADD meds, about– six months ago?  My husband claimed to notice a difference in my behaviour. Rather, he noticed an environmental difference which was the result of what he believed to be my altered behaviour.  He said that usually, when he gets home from work– usually late in the evening– he can see exactly where I’ve been in the house and what I’ve been doing because of the piles of unfinished business I leave behind.  A shelf I’ve started organizing, a meal I never cleaned up from, the kid’s homework…

I disagreed with him. I figured that, if his observations were at all true, it was because of some other reason.  Something that had happened that week– my schedule had opened up, or maybe the kids were back at school after a holiday.

However, maybe he was right.  Maybe that particular med, which I subsequently stopped taking because it was making me moody and unpredictable– constant low-level stress that made me snap with little provocation (some people were calling me out on my angry behaviour- the mark of a true friend). So even though I didn’t feel the ‘lifting of the cloud’ or the ‘seeing through the fog’  the way that other ADD-brainers describe their experience on medication,  maybe it really was doing something for me.

Well, between my husband’s observations and the meta eye-opening blog post I published yesterday, I have come to realize that it’s not just the big things that are not getting done around here– registering the kids for camp, writing my book,  figuring out the family budget, creating photo books from the last 5 years, finding a housekeeper, and doing the bookkeeping (to name only the first few that pop into my head) — I also don’t do all the smaller things that keep the house– and me! going.

The question now becomes, what am I going to do about it?

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